


The one where Sam regrets giving Dean and Cas a key

by lollyb



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arguing, Crack, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, IKEA, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3573866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lollyb/pseuds/lollyb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are many things Dean and Cas can do. Apparently building IKEA furniture is not one of them.</p>
<p>Based off a prompt I've seen on tumblr: imagine your OTP building something from IKEA. Sorry I can't find it now if it was yours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one where Sam regrets giving Dean and Cas a key

Sam shouldered open his front door dropping his bags and looking wistfully at the sofa. He started calculating how long he could nap for before he had to go back to the hospital when he heard a bang from upstairs. He immediately went into a crouch before straightening and sighing when he heard raised voices.

“Damn it Cas, we can fix this!”

“Dean it’s not broken!”

They were here again.

Sam followed the voices to the room at the back of the house. His eyes flicked from the collection of empty beer bottles lying in the corner to Cas who was standing defensively in front of some sort of cage which was pushed against the wall and finally to Dean who was waving a stick vaguely threateningly at Cas. He gently pried the stick from Dean’s fingers and set it on the floor before turning and looking back at Dean who at least had the grace to appear shamefaced as opposed to Cas who was still looking as though he might smite Dean where he stood.

“What the hell is going on Dean? Look at the mess in here!  Jess is going to kill me and then the two of you. You have your own home you know, the key was really only for emergencies.” Sam swept his hand through his hair trying to calm down.  Dean gave him one of his trademark grins.

“No, but Sam, it _was_ an emergency. Jess is going to be coming home from hospital soon.”

Sam was still stumped. He looked to Cas for help as he was usually the sensible one but he was just nodding and Sam could see the glaze in his eyes that usually came after around 5 or 6 beers.

“So you decided to get drunk and what, build a cage in our house? I know Cas wanted a guinea pig but we expected him to keep it at your house.”

Frowns crept across their faces, Cas squinting at him in confusion and Dean’s hands started to flap about.

“No Sammy, no no no no. This,” and Dean gestured expansively towards the cage, “is the crib.” When Sam didn’t say anything he continued. “You know, for the baby.”

Sam stilled. Now he looked at it, he could see that it could be the top part of a crib. Bashed and bruised and for some reason directly on the carpet but a crib all the same.

“OK,” he began, “but where are the legs?”

At this Cas started shaking his head but Dean’s face lit up and he retrieved the stick from the floor and waved it at Sam.

“Here, this is one of them.”

Sam looked closely. It had at one time been a rectangular piece of wood like a leg but at some point in its’ past something had happened to it and nothing good. It was full of holes, some of them in the middle and some just taking nicks out of the side. He took it gingerly.

“What happened to it?”

For the first time Cas piped up.

“When we took it out of the box, the directions looked like they were telling us to screw the leg to the bottom of the crib but it was all pictures and we couldn’t get the holes to match up.”

“Yeah, so I said we could just drill a hole in there.”

“I still think it would have been a better idea to take it back to the store Dean.”

“The store’s hours away Cas and hell, we’re men aren’t we? This is what we do!”

“No Dean, this is what Bobby does. We call him and he tells us what to do. Should’ve done that today.”

“I found a solution didn’t I?”

Sam could see this was getting heated again so he stepped in.

“I don’t have a drill Dean so what did you do?”

“Well Sammy,” Sam had rarely seen Dean look so smug, “I decided it was time to meet your neighbours.”

This was worse than Sam had thought. They had only moved in a couple of weeks ago and with all the baby stuff hadn’t managed to meet any of the neighbours with more than a passing hello.

“Had.. how..” he glanced at the bottles in the corner, “had you had any beer at this point?”

“Only a couple,” Cas said not very reassuringly. “Dean spotted one of your neighbours in front of his house and asked him if he had a drill.”

“He had a hat Sam.” Dean nodded at him. ”You could tell he was the kind.”

“Dean I told you before that headgear is no indicator of proficiency”

“Yes Cas but he had a beard as well. And he brought beer, you liked that.”

Sam sighed. More beer had quite obviously not been required. Sam could feel his dislike of this neighbour growing before he had even met him.

“So then what?”

“Well we drilled a hole but it wasn’t in quite the right place and so we tried again but it still wouldn’t fit and then Cas said he wanted a go but, well anyway, we just couldn’t get it to go on.”

“Then Benny said it would probably be dangerous to put that leg on it now anyway so he’s gone to get some more wood. Really though Dean I think it might be safer here on the ground. Less chance for the baby to fall out.”

Dean sighed. Sam could tell this was old ground, probably covered a few times in their argument already.

“That’s the whole point of the bars Cas, to keep the baby safe.”

“Just because something has always been done doesn’t mean _we_ have to do it that way.” Cas looked like he hadn’t even convinced himself. “Plus look,” he waggled one of the bars which was disturbingly loose, “the baby will be able to crawl in and out if it gets bored in the crib. Design feature,” he said proudly.

Sam rubbed his eyes. They always did this. It was exactly what he didn’t need coming back from the hospital and he definitely wouldn’t be telling Jess about it.

“Right,” he began. “This is what we’re going to do. You two are going to clear up the beer bottles and tell Benny thanks for his help but we don’t need it any more. Then you are going to get out, go home, sober up and go and visit Jess and the baby. I will call Bobby to come and salvage this disaster and we will never speak of this again.”

Dean and Cas nodded shamefacedly and started picking up beer bottles. Sam walked out to the landing to grab his phone and call Bobby. He could hear them talking as he left the room.

“We’re going to hear about this again aren’t we?”

“Yep Cas, every Christmas and birthday from now on.”

Sam shrugged as he walked away. They were probably right.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Come visit me at [my tumblr](http://www.lollybgood.tumblr.com).


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